So I have been on Lupron (.2cc) for over a week now. Starting to see side effects a bit. Actually teared up at a party tonight with in-laws when happy to see them. In my head I was screaming "Really, glad to see you, but the tears are from the HORMONES I am on!!!!". My DH and I got a kick out of it! Hilarious!

Should start period this week and then begin calls to Yale and RE to schedule testing. I am really not into this. It's weird to be on drugs for a "mock cycle/testing"... no hope; just shooting up in hopes of finding and not finding something wrong at the same time.

Have I mentioned my sister-in-law is prego. She lives a few doors down and told me 2 days before my last FET. To say I find it difficult at times is being nice. I find myself the "ugliest person alive" full of jealousy, hate, and no sympathy. And I watch her pick up her son and inside I am screaming "DON'T DO THAT - YOU COULD LOSE THE BABY!". She gets preg so easily, and despite extreme nausea, truly has great pregnancies. I need to learn to be better at being happy for others.

I am screaming too much in my head these days, aren't I?

I attended a Women's prayer group for infertility this week. Truly wonderful women. It started 6 years ago with 2 women and has grown. Over 50% of those that come are alumni - there for support and inspiration! What a testament to how hard this is and how it affects us!!! Good news is, one in the group has done the EFT and now has twins. HOPE! I love that! And over 82 babies have been born and over 12 adoptions! In 6 years! That is encouragement! Amen!

Thanks to those that listen :)

EFT

Happy New Year! Maybe this is the year for MANY of us!!! I am ready for change and moving forward! You?

We lucked out and had a quick meeting with our IF Dr a week after the BFN. He met with the committee in his practice, and all believed I am a good candidate for a 2nd uterine lining biopsy. But this time, the biopsy will be on a special protocal from a Yale professor (Kliman) specializing in the uterus & placenta?? The link is: www.endometrialfunctiontest.com

Cost of the test is about $450 plus cost of biopsy and shipping in local IF office. And since I have NEVER had an embryo implant in 2.5 years, and with mild endo, chances are my uterus has toxins or chemicals in it making implantation impossible. They say that if something is found, over 89% of those treated become pregnant. I would have to do Lupron (.2cc) for 3 months, then try another FET.

So, as ready as I am to move forward, it makes sense to slow down and try this. Guess I mine as well cut back on wheat and dairy again while I am at it!

Holidays were hard with the millions of baby photo holiday cards - I think I counted over 50! But I am getting better at handling things the further I get from the most recent BFN. 

Anyone out there ever do an EFT or had any luck with something like this?

A Fork in The Road

Well... I am new to the blogging world. I am finding much encouragement in all of you IF'ers out there. It is such a lonely journey and your compassion, direction, honesty, and success is welcoming to my eyes and heart. So, here I am starting one of my own. Wish me luck! I am not good at opening up...so maybe this will help me!

My DH and I have been trying to conceive for over two and a half years. I am basically "unexplained" with mild ENDO. All tests come back normal.

We just received a BFN on our first FET. We have 5 FE left. All A-quality. So their is hope.

Due to the holidays, our RE can't see us for a month (kinda pathetic isn't that??). Said we could begin Lupron (for FET or testing prep on our own) - to call nurse and update them. He will try to squeeze us in before holidays, but being a week away, would be hard. I am not pleased and feel abandoned. I can be patient, but man!

We have been given permission to try naturally again. After the ectopic, Doctor said our numbers gave him reason to ask us not too. He hadn't seen a Beta as low as ours to still have an ectopic (3.9). We now have to monitor closely when TTC naturally and call with any concerns. But after a year of no success naturally, plus additional random months - don't have much hope in the possibility...just glad to ditch the condoms!

We have options:

1. Medicated FET in February.

2. Natural FET in January or February.

3. Have 2nd Uterine Lining test in February, while on FET meds, to see what uterus lining is doing...and then adjust protocol for actual FET in March.

Additionally, feel we need to begin preparing our hearts and minds for future decisions a bit. Another Fresh IVF or adoption or surrogate??? All so big!!

Any advice?